The Huron County
Extract’s Cultural Survey of Fresno State
Since the recently distributed cultural survey, which
faculty were asked to complete, did not seem to speak to our situation or even
to address teachers at a university, the Huron
County Extract offers for the use of the Fresno State community its own much
shorter survey, more specifically adapted to the needs of our campus. Please
answer the following questions by circling the number which comes closest to
your response, 1 being the most positive and 5 the least:
1. When I learned
that the administration had $1.8 million dollars to spend down before the end
of the year:
1.
I felt happy. I’ve always wanted three staplers
and an office full of typing paper.
2.
I felt sympathetic to the administrators who
didn’t want to be stuck with another $65 million carry-forward next year; man, that’s just embarrassing.
3.
I wondered why most of it wasn’t spent earlier
in the year to increase the number of class sections offered.
4.
I felt wrathful that most of it wasn’t spent
earlier in the year to increase the number of class sections offered.
5.
It dawned on me that this opened possibilities for department
chairs to make money at the Cherry Auction.
2. When I learned
that the Budget Task had been asked to make recommendations without knowing
about the $65 million dollar carry-forward from last year I felt
1.
That it wasn’t any of their business anyway;
their charge was only to look at the Academic Affairs budget;
2.
Admiration for the finesse of the
administration. If you want to get rid of two schools, you just can’t let
information like that out.
3.
That there actually was a “smoking gun,” despite
assurances to the contrary.
4.
Swindled. Lied to. Deceived. But I’ll recover.
5.
So swindled, lied to, and deceived, that I will
never trust this administration again.
3. When I hear people
use words and phrases like “faculty transformational scholarship and research,”
“rhetoricality,” “digication,” and “demonstrating the transformational effect
from experience in utilizing various pedagogies,”
1.
I just get, like, all hot and excited, and I want to . . .
2.
I think of adding an Ed.D. to my Ph.D.
3.
I think about getting a coffee at Starbucks.
4.
I think about getting a double espresso at
Starbucks.
5.
I want to beat them on the head with the Collected Works of George Orwell.
4. When I contemplate
administrative salaries and raises within the CSU system over the last few
years, I’d like to
1.
Give the chancellor and all the presidents,
vice-presidents, associate vice-presidents 20% raises, so that they won’t be
stolen away by private industry.
2.
Same as above, but I think 10% raises ought to
do it.
3.
Get rid of them, but I’m afraid we might get
worse.
4.
Get rid of them. I’ll take my chances.
5.
Pay General Motors to take them off our hands.
5. On the subject of
cohort hiring:
1.
I think it’s really cool. Candidates out there
long to be hired into cohorts, and if it weren’t for cohorts, we probably
couldn’t hire anyone. The Provost is saving our school.
2.
OK, it’s going to be hard to fill our need for
an interior designer in a Sierra Plant Ecology Cohort, but we think we can do
it.
3.
I don’t care about cohorts. But if we use them,
I think they should be determined at the school and department level, not by
the provost
4.
Does anyone out there realize that salary money
is eventually going to come out of Level B allocations, even if the provost
provides some initial money from Centrally Monitored Funds?
5.
I think we should refuse every cohort hire
offered. This is where the rubber meets the road in top-down management.
6. On the new logo:
1.
I don’t care if it is a cat print. That just demonstrates
our commitment to diversity.
2.
I think that “Diversity. Distinction. Discovery”
will last as long as Semper Fi, or
the family crest of the Percy’s: Esperance!
3.
Looks like a hospital sign.
4.
It’s like renaming the Titanic after it hit the
iceberg.
5.
It’s like renaming the Titanic after it hit the
iceberg—and renaming it the Lusitania
Now, total your score. If you scored between
6 to 12, You are very happy at Fresno State, and probably in
the Kremen School of Education;
13 to 24, You are not happy, but you’ve got many years to go
at Fresno State, and you’re trying to hang in there;
25 to 30, You are counting the days until you can FERP or
retire completely.
Oh no - I scored 27! But I just got tenure less than 2 years ago... and you're telling me I should already be counting down to FERP/retirement?!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I don't understand the concern in response 2 to Q5: "... hard to fill our need for an interior designer in a Sierra Plant Ecology Cohort...". Haven't you been to our FAT airport? What better example of Sierra Plant Ecological Interior Design?! We could, indeed should, be world leaders in this interdisciplinary field which will revolutionize interior design and ecology both!